All newbies or anybody struggling please read

[Uphill]

I'll start this post by saying this is the best place you could have ever found. Lots of caring people with tons of knowledge! Listen to the people who are trying to help!

I haven't been around for a while and quite frankly, lost track of where everybody here is in life but I hope all are well! I'll give a brief history of my sitch and let everybody know where I'm at now.my ex fiancé started a new job in December of 2014. By mid January, she was different. Secretive, phone face down, all the signs of an EA minimum. Didn't really have the time for a PA at that point and all time was accounted for. Fast forward to feb of 2015, I looked at the phone bill and confirmed there was something up. Things were rocky for a week or two but all contact stopped (away from work) and things seemed to be going great. I kept a close eye on things and landed here sometime after she dropped the bomb on me and moved out. I did EVERYTHING wrong. Beg, plead, tried to reason, gifts... Just poured my heart out any chance I had. Which was a lot due to our child care arrangements. For a few months I suspected that this "friend" from work was more but didn't have proof. Anyways, my gut feeling was right. I literally sat idle, thinking I was detached for a long long time. Nothing changed.

Now let's jump ahead to early 2016. there is much much more I could tell through 2015, but you all know the script and actions of a wayward... She was textbook. Hot/cold. Dropping breadcrumbs to keep my attention. Just had me sitting waiting as a backup plan. Sometime in January, she was melting down constantly. As she always has, even when OM was around, she called me when stressed. Eventually it came out that she hates herself for what she did and they were done because she finally saw he was using her and taking advantage of her vulnerability. The whole month of February seemed to be going I the right direction. Lots of serious talks. Lots of joking and texting throughout the day. Nothing sexual, no dates, and no sleepovers at each other's places. She quit her job (where Om worked), got rid of all the people there on social media. Just kinda tried to erase that part of her life. That all came to a screeching halt one day out of he blue. I personally think now, I was looking too eager.

Since then, everything has been pretty much status quo. No shifts in any direction. Just civil co parenting and some slightly warm slightly cold cycles. I got accustomed to all this and eventually ran across an awesome girl a bit ago. We hit it off great and started dating. Life really felt great. Like I had a place after living alone for over a year.

This past weekend, I made a huge step and invited the new girl to he movies with me and S4. Everything went well and being the bigger person, I knew it was time to let XF in on this part of my life and be honest about what is going on. I did that Monday morning. She started crying and hung up the phone on me. I heard nothing but crickets the rest of time day Monday and into Tuesday afternoon. Hen I got a call. She wanted me to meet her with a few things for out son that I knew she really didn't need but I agreed anyway. His turned into a long talk with her sobbing the whole time about how she has wanted to come home for a long time and just couldn't say it. And how now it's too late and she has nobody to blame but herself. She says she has hinted around at different things and I blew them off? To me if she did it was very subtle and by that time I was so numb to the sitch that I didn't react to it.

Now I am in a pickle. I have an awesome new girl who I get along with great. I have an ex who is the mother of my child and also a great person (if the wayward attitude is truly gone now). And wishing the next few days, I'm gonna have to make a life altering decision and hurt somebody I care about.

Sorry for rambling, but the moral of this whole post. Detach! Truly detach! It works. I'm not saying go out dating like I unfortunately did, it only complicates things. They sense the detachment and that is when they actually start regretting what they have done and second guessing their decisions. Shortly before the false start in February I was getting there. But I caved too easily and she ran back into her nest. Now I honestly thought I was over everything and really did detach (to the point that I've made this worse) and she is begging to come back. Learn from my mistakes. And live life for you. Get yourself happy on your own. They will see all this and want to be a part of your awesome life. If I would have known everything I know now, a year ago, I really think she would have been at this spot long long ago!