Happy birthday M, a few days late - just checking in here today ... I have a few thoughts which are worth exactly what you're paying for, namely $0, so take it for what it's worth:

I read about H and the birthday awkward/ineptitude and saw it a bit differently: in the past your H has complained about you not wanting to be with him or make time for him. I'm not saying he did great ... but I am saying he did pretty good for MLC - still baking. Look at it from this perspective for a second: he took S shopping. He paid for presents. He ineptly tried to spend time with you (after plans were already made) .... remember they are in the MLC time zone, very different from the rest of us. Is it possible that H felt a bit rejected when you said you had plans (I know this seems preposterous to the rest of us but bear with me)?

You guys are all suffering from post vacation let down for one thing, plus it must be weird spending vacation together only to go home to separate places. i think H retreating is not unexpected in that circumstance?

I'm so very sorry you are hurting. I completely understand where you are coming from. I am throwing this out there in hopes of giving a bit of perspective for what might be going on. MLC is a lodestone around our necks at times, never moreso than around family events like anniversaries and birthdays.

Anyway, we love you and I wish you the best of all things this coming year and always xoxoxox

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver