I can't comment at all on what to do when living in the same house and I don't know what I would do.
From what I have discovered since my W left is she did her grieving for our M while we were living together and I didn't see the signs. She used me as her support as she went through the stages of withdrawing from the relationship. So what I thought we bad times was actually her preparing herself to leave.
The point where I realized I was in trouble was the day she said I'm Not happy I don't love you I'm leaving. At this point I am devistated but she is already month ahead of me and had been waiting until she finally felt comfortable enough to leave.
The way I see it you can not possibly follow Sandis advice while living together. You need to get a clear answer from your W if she is done with the marriage and is just doing what my W did and getting ready to leave or is she still open to the possibility to save the marriage.
Again I'm no expert and Sandi or someone with more experience might have more insight. The other Hong is the length of time you have been together and married. It can't be an easy thing to walk out and be on your own after so long together I think that is why so many W's that are certain they don't want to be in the marriage hand around out of fear of the unknown.
Personally I'm glad my W was straight up with me and told me she wasn't happy and left rather then hang around waiting for something better before letting go and moving on. Think about this do you really want someone around that is only there out of fear of the unknown and not because they feel anything toward you? It is impossible for them to feel a loss while they have you around all the time.
If it were me in your situation I would be polite and when you are around W try to be as happy as you can be and don't try to get any pity from them. Try to go out and do your own thing as much as you can and never let them see you depressed or needy, fairly standard I know but that's what I would do.
And as a side note I would give anything to have my W at home right now but if I am honest with myself I know we would have no chance of things getting better if she was around all the time. She needs to find herself and what she wants without being able to use me as the excuse for the way she feels.
I'm sorry I really don't know if any of this helps at all just things I have worked out in the last 7 months.
Stay strong.
ME- 31 W-25 T-5 M-3 D2 ILYBNILWY and moved out - FEB16 W seeing someone else - JUL16
