Albac broken but pushing forward

[albac]

Gump, this is something I think about everyday. I think it is a mix of her being young, not knowing exactly what she wants, guilt for leaving, trying to keep me around for D and pretend we are a family even though she wants to be single right now.

It is a very strange feeling. Everytime we speak we both sound so happy and it's almost think she has to pull herself back because she all of a sudden thinks that she can't seem happy. Yesterday I had to tell her I was busy and had to go after 15 minutes or so of her downloading everything on to me that she just wanted to talk about. Obviously being together for as long as we were and being married we use to talk a lot so she still feels like I am someone she can talk to about everything.

I really don't have the answers, she keeps saying to me she doesn't care if I hate her. Like she wants me to hate her so she feels less guilt for what she has done either that or it is a temp check for me to say I don't hate you I'm unsure on how to read it.

My W has always been quick to chop and change what she wants she is always looking for the next quick fix to make her happy. She just started a college degree after thinking about it for about 1 week. She jumps in and deals with the consequences later ...or never