Hi Gump, I caught your post on another thread, so I thought I would jump over here and try to answer it.


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sandi2 -- what you wrote, I need to hear every morning for the rest of my life.
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Originally Posted By: sandi2
You and your WW have a brother/sister relationship, not a H/W relationship.


Does every WW situation have this problem (of W seeing H as brother-sister)? Or only some?

Do WAS situations also have this problem (W seeing H as brother-sister)? Or is this less common in WAS situations?


"Does every WW situation have this problem (of W seeing H as brother-sister)? Or only some?"

Believe it or not, there are some situations where the WW is so full of hatred for the H that she's can't even muster a sisterly feeling. From what I have read, most of them start out with the brother-sister thing, but it can get worse. In the beginning, she does not have a sexual desire for him.....but she still cares for him, the way you would care for a relative. She just doesn't feel sexual attraction.

There are some WW's who continue having sex with the H. Either they have a high sex drive, or they are trying to keep their true feelings hidden.

I think it is more prevalent with WW's b/c of their mindset. She has lost respect for you, therefore, losing attraction and sexual desire.

She doesn't want to be your W, but she wants the benefits of being M to you.

"Do WAS situations also have this problem (W seeing H as brother-sister)? Or is this less common in WAS situations?"

That is really hard to say, b/c the WAW could be leaving an abusive man, a womanizer, a pathological liar, an addict, or something else that caused her desire to change. I see the WAW as being a woman who might have left with justified reasons, but would like to see her H change his ways in order to save the M. In other words, she would be willing to work to save the M, if her H would change. The WW could care less if he changes his ways.

I have several threads on the subject of wayward wives, if you want to read them.

The good news is that feelings can change, therefore, her desire can return....if her H is smart in knowing how to deal with her.

Thanks for reaching out to me.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!