W still at home, how to proceed?

[sandi2]

You did a great job!! I laughed at the part of her sobbing in earshot. If you will stick to your guns, you will see her do some silly/childish things to get attention.

I loved your response of her wanting to spend time together tonight, and how you quickly spotted her sweet tone of voice and how nice she was acting. It's all an act. She is going to test you like crazy. She doesn't want to lose her power over you, so stay on guard.

I try to warn newcomers to not misunderstand the actions of a WW. Most H's are desperately looking for some sign that what they are doing is working. However, they are looking for the wrong reaction. The WW is going to try a lot of things b/c she is so manipulative. She knows you better than anyone, and that includes what you like about her. But instead of seeing her enticing behavior as a positive sign.....pull back real quick. She's just playing games.

The WW has a long process to experience before she is ready to be the wife she use to be. Your work is to stop treating her as though she is special anymore. Instead, look at her as a rebellious teenager, and you'll hit pretty close to the reality. Of course, you don't tell her any of this.....b/c you want to be effective in what you do.

The WW must work really hard to get back the H she was ready to dump. The quickest way a man can turn the dynamics around is for him to become (as seen by his attitude/actions) the dumper.....and her to become the dumpee. You would be surprised to know that the very few WW's who have come the board, reported that it was when their H let go...... was their turning around point. But the longer the H clinged, catered, and tried to persuade the WW to give the M another try......she was turned off and wanted to get away from him.

So, don't think her sudden sweetness, sexiness, or interest in you is some positive sign she is having second thoughts. She is merely trying to get you back under her thumb again. Women learned a long time ago how to turn on the charm for their own benefit.

It is important that you make yourself unavailable to her. I know that may sound completely opposite of other advice, but it's about what works and what doesn't work.......and it's about timing. If you succeed and she comes out of her waywardness.....then the timing will be right to do all those things you would love to be doing now. But first, you have to get her respect and admiration.

I would like to suggest something else. Do not act as if you are impressed with her. I don't mean to see how rude you can be (if she is behaving herself). But when she is testing you with all her little tricks......don't act impressed by giving her the response she wants. Know what I mean? If nothing else, a man could act bored with her charades.......or even look as if he is amused at her antics. It lets her know that her tricks no longer work.











You had it down pat in your last couple of posts!