Another consideration in this whole mess is why do I actually want to continue with her anyway? I remember how things used to be, but she has not been that person in a very long time. I'm hoping that if she decided to work on our relationship, that she would move closer to the person she once was.
An example of this is her sleep patterns. For years, we come home from a family trip, and the first thing she does is gets on Facebook to post pictures...until 2 am. She would rather spend her evenings showing the world what fun she had than spend an evening relaxing with her family, or me. She gets 5 hours of sleep max...for no reason. In the past, she never had enough sleep, then she did grad school, and she has continued the pattern ever since.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
To continue the above...My wife has said in the past that she would be perfectly happy living alone the rest of her life. I believe her.
All of this is based on friendships she has forged over the last 6 years or so at my expense. Of course, the irony is that exposing her affairs would cause her to lose most of these relationships as they are with my side of the family...and others that would not welcome her anymore.
This is why I'm being very careful...maybe too much so...as to not make decisions on revenge or out of anger.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
Tate - I would suggest that the next 180 you do - which will perhaps be the hardest yet - is that you act as if you've written her off. Be a good Dad to your kids and essentially ignore her as if she's not there. Whatever you do, don't check to see if she is noticing and "when" she complains etc just shrug your shoulders, pretend you are a teenager and say "whatever". This would also be one of the first steps towards detaching.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
AndrewP, I think that's where I'm headed. I've started doing that with the projects...wife asked if I was going to mow the lawn. I said I didn't have time since we were out of town all weekend. I offered that the mower was gassed up if she wanted to mow it while I was at work (she's a teacher off for the summer).
While I was out of the country, I gave her the roofer contact to have our house roofed from the hail storms we had a couple months back. She didn't get very far on it.
Small things like that. I honestly don't have the inclination to bust my a## on projects for her if she's going to continue this way. She's taken me for granted way too long.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
Tate - I'm going to be nicer than doodler - especially since doodler "claims" that the cookies he made me were mailed but I never saw them and I'm not sure that I trust him 100% that they were ever made.
AndrewP,
You're such a good guy that, very honestly, I'd make you a big batch of peanut butter cookies and send them to you if I knew how to get them to you. Thanks for following-up my mini-rant with very good post. You the man!
Last edited by Cadet; 08/03/1608:10 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message
About an hour ago, my boss at work let me know that my position will be terminated in 60 days. My company has been failing for a couple years now, and over half the company has been let go in the last year.
Of course, I'll be looking for a new job. In town, there are limited opportunities. Part of me is saying that I should just get my favorite job in any city in the world and leave my wife to decide to bring the kids and follow me or stay where she is. Then we would be done with these games.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
Go to the top of the screen and there is a new topic box on the left hand side. Click on it and then you will open the window to create a new subject as well as a posting. It's the same way that you created this thread.
