You guys have been making my day today for real! It's nice to be able to joke about this stuff a little bit.
And yes I have lost 20lbs in the past 6 weeks.... part of this is probably because I'm actually trying to lose weight (I've lost 60 lbs so far) but I know a big part of it is stress and weird eating schedules. For consistency and mental clarity I've started fasting. So I will fast for 18-20 hours. Usually from dinner the night before until afternoon snack time the next day. And yes it is medically healthy I consulted my DR lol. But it's helped simplify my life, I worry less about the fact that I'm not eating and/or when I will eat or what I will eat and it makes it easier to not just emotionally eat.
It's been kind of a rough day. Had to meet with L to talk about Answering my summons. I've been handling everything pretty well since being served but meeting L today just made everything seem so real. and the worst part is MI is a no fault state so, since we don't have kids, there's only a minimum wait period of 60 days! That's no time at all!!!
The other thing that's been messing with me is that, I've always been someone who is pretty intuitive I ALWAYS trust my guy/instinct/intuition whatever you want to call it. And it is right 99% of the time. And lately I keep having this really intense feeling that W wants to come home, I've tried ignoring it because I don't want to get my hopes up for this especially since my intuition doesn't have a calendar so it could be some time in the future. But the more I try to ignore it the more prominent the feeling becomes. I've even started dreaming about it on a regular basis and it is seriously messing with my mind.
W:32 M:26 T:5 yrs M: 3 yr BD: JUN 2016 W Moved out: early JUL 2016 W Filed for D: mid JUL 2016 EA: 06/16? PA: 07/16 Moved in w/ ow: 07/16 D final: 10/16
It is nice to joke about this stuff sometimes...I know 60 days isn't long but remember what darkness said:
"That said, think of things this way: how would your actual life be any different if you were divorced RIGHT THIS SECOND? In my opinion, the divorce itself is just reporting your relationship status to the government. So don't sweat it. Keep working towards your goals."
Maybe your gut is right but try to ignore it...it does mess with minds...once I thought I saw my wife's car on the street and I thought she was coming home...wasn't her.. hang in there!!
W:42 M:48 T:9 yrs M:1yr BD: Feb 2016 EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016 D: Feb 2017
I'm really trying to ignore it. And I know it sounds stupid to people who don't feel that way about intuition. But I cannot shake this feeling.
I'm going to try just acknowledging it but then putting it out of my mind for a while. Like I said I don't want to get my hopes up and who knows if it's true or if it's some magically future event or something.
It's just messing with me.
And the divorce thing, I don't know I get what darkness said. I know my day-to-day life wouldn't change and I know it doesn't necessarily mean "THE END" in some super final way. It just still feels bad.
W:32 M:26 T:5 yrs M: 3 yr BD: JUN 2016 W Moved out: early JUL 2016 W Filed for D: mid JUL 2016 EA: 06/16? PA: 07/16 Moved in w/ ow: 07/16 D final: 10/16
Look it's all pretty straight forward. These vets know. I have struggled so much to detach. But this is the first step. It's about finding you. Read about it. They are legends. I have done so much reading - a 2 years course on marriage fitness. All helpful don't get me wrong. But detaching (lovingly - ie be you, kind, not bitter) and giving space is great. Find you. There is a Ted talk I watched last night about marrying myself. It's a bit 'left of field' for me - as 'a bloke' but I get it. It's really about detaching and GAL IMHO. Listen to it. If she can, you can. We all can. Peace and love to you all - it will come. Just focus on the nice things.
M46/W40/D8/S6/T20/M12/Separated 6/2016,W takes kids Issues2009 Wpartying w/g.f's2013on EA2013PAdeniedWleavesMBR ImeetAP/EAhalts VariousBDDates MFCourse WSpew EAresumes I halt Wrages DBIng4/2016
In reality people like Doodler, Sandi, Job, so so many, have provided such inspiration for me. You will find your way. Listen to them. They are the voice of wisdom when you are in the fog of mayhem.
I learned that advice might come from friends or family. Everyone is an expert on these situations 'relationships'. But in reality, unless they have lived it, or are trained in it (I have my views on the ability of those that have trained but not lived in 'it') theory are not qualified. I know that these vets know.
Read, keep reading and post. That's the only way to engage. Some comments might might not hit the mark. That's okay. Just keep going. You will get there.
M46/W40/D8/S6/T20/M12/Separated 6/2016,W takes kids Issues2009 Wpartying w/g.f's2013on EA2013PAdeniedWleavesMBR ImeetAP/EAhalts VariousBDDates MFCourse WSpew EAresumes I halt Wrages DBIng4/2016
So tonight I've been packing up for a trip. W and I always used to take the first weekend in August and go spend it at the beach so that's what I'm doing since we already had it planned... It doesn't feel good to be packing for this trip, that we've taken together for 5 years, alone. But at the same time I feel like I can't not go... that would be giving her too much control over my life, so I'm determined to go and try to have fun.
W:32 M:26 T:5 yrs M: 3 yr BD: JUN 2016 W Moved out: early JUL 2016 W Filed for D: mid JUL 2016 EA: 06/16? PA: 07/16 Moved in w/ ow: 07/16 D final: 10/16
Who is this maybs, and what did she do with maybeep?
M 55 W 52 MR 32 T 34+ D29 BD May 8, 2016 - She moved out ILYBNILWY May 15 (Through email) No EA/PA August 23 - DB used against me in every way Divorce July 18, 2017 - Life is getting better every day
hang in there!!
Have some fun!!