Just working the process, but wondering when......

[cbtdad]

So W is on the way back today. She and son will be home when I get home from work. Can't wait to see son. Kind of miss W, but not nearly as much as son.
She called me this morning and said she might pick up a shift tonight. I was kind of upset at that, but didn't say anything then.
Then earlier this afternoon I got a text from our neighbor
neighbor: Hi! I'm home, finally. W said she is going to work tonight and if you are not home when she leaves I will take son. Neighbor and I will take boys with us to have bday dinner and would love for you to join us

I sent my wife a copy of that text and said. "Guess you are working. Love when I find out this way(thumbs up emoji)

W: " I haven't set anything. I said "in case" to her
She sent me a copy of text neighbor

cbtdad: thumbs up emoji

W: roll eyes emoji and a bitmoji saying "GULP"

cbtdad: Whats gulp?

W: When you do that

cbtdad: Not sure what I did. Just gave thumbs up to what you sent me. I just would rather find out info from you about your schedule. Neighbors text to me sounded definite. Doesn't matter either way at this point

W: Yea you just stress me out sending that. It wasn't definite. I just set it all up.
And I cleared it with you first. I'll tell you when it's set

cbtdad: Not trying to stress you out. Just would be nice if you didn't want to work because you've been gone so long. But that's just not where we are at. It's all good

W: Yea I know. But I have to get my hours and then we will have two days of togetherness. Then the time in North Carolina so I didn't think it was a big deal

cbtdad: I understand. It's fine. Not trying to stress you out

W: Yea but you always act like its personal and I don't have a greater plan behind what I do

cbtdad: Yeah that's the part I understand. That its not personal
Doesn't mean I like it:) Two different things babe
I understand your reasoning is what I'm trying to say. I don't think it's personal. Doesn't mean I have to like it. that's why I'm saying didn't mean to stress you out(thumbs up emoji)

W: ok. Good. glad we get it now




So I do want W to want to come home and spend time with me. But I understand her reasoning for working tonight as well. I huess this could have been avoided had I just said I would like to spend time together tonight. But that's the problem I am in right now. To me trying to do that would have been more of the same behavior. Maybe come across as controlling. I also am starting to catch these emotions about things quicker, but not quick enough. But it is getting better