Out of in house S - On My Own (11)

[vise82]

Hey,

Had the boys for most of the weekend. Was a really good time, Took them to an out of town festival that I have never been to. Seems to make sense to start doing new things with them.

Also bought a metal detector and we used it at the beach. Oldest was very interested even though we kept of finding rusty nails, I guess form burnt up skids.

Had some communication with W She wanted me and S7 to pick up a gift for the party he is going to with W and she wont have time to pick one out with him. I replied after, I was going to say no, I said yes but if she could pay me back as I had to buy the last two gifts for other kids. She agreed.

Then later she wanted to clear up some bills, and asked if I would pay for one of the snow suites that she bought the kids. Again I was tempted to tell her just take it out of the $450 I pay you monthly, but then realized it was only a once in a year purchase, so I agreed.

I don't know if this is being a push over or too nice or just me avoiding conflict.

Then there was another text, this one through me for a loop, she asks me if I need a mattress for the kids , I ask who has it. She says she is buying a new one. Last time she bought a new mattress was with me not long after she moved in. This got me spinning a bit. I composed and delete about three texts that were focused on getting info about a potential OM.

Then I just asked her why the new mattress?, she texted back the old one she was using from the spare bedroom is thirty years old.

I just leave it at that.

I was just worried that is her way of telling me there is OM. I think I was over analyzing it.

I am torn, part of me wanted to say no and take nothing from her, but I do need one for S7 but if its not good enough for her why would she think of giving it to one of her Sons? And part of me wanted to say yes, as I will have to pick it up this will get me in her house and I can try to just see where she is at with being ok with me there.

I am worried I will fall on my face here. I am worried that I am taking this interaction too positively. That she is coming closer so I will come closer to her as well. Cautiously. As this could just be a way to get rid of something she no longer wants and she is using me to get rid of it. That I still mean nothing to her and her life goes on.