Newbie - my story

[maybs]

Even though I purposely set myself up with activities to stay busy tonight I have been having an extra hard time. Not with wanting to speak with W necessarily but just missing her in general. I mean I want to speak with her but I know she wouldn't have the reaction that I would want so it isn't even worth it.

But for the past 5 years she's always been the one that when something exciting happens at work or when I have fun trying something new or really anything else happens I just want to turn to tell her and I can't.

Just wanted to whine a bit tonight and feel sorry for myself for a few minutes.

[hawker]

Maybeep...I totally understand what you mean...something happens and you want to share it with your best friend you have had for the past 5 years...10 for me....it [censored]...good you come here and post instead...keep hanging in there!

[Melo]

I feel you brother, same here...I went to NYC and everytime I turned around to tell her how cool something was, she wasn't there.

[cheesyt]

good job trying to stay busy may! I make plans and then back out 90% of the time.

[hawker]

Why do u back out C?

[cheesyt]

cus I'm an introvert. going out and meeting people is not my thing! don't have many friends, most of what I've been doing are meet up groups and those are easy to back out from!

[hawker]

Got it!! I have a small group of friends that I only like to hang out with as well. I hate meeting new people. . The sad thing but good for me is 2 of my friends are going through the same thing so we can all relate.

[maybs]

I am also introverted and want to back out 90% of the time but make myself go anyways.
I don't really like to meet new people either. I also have 1 friend who is going through something similar and we spend a lot of time together.

What has helped me keep my plans is I try to start doing things by myself. It's much easier for me to commit to something if I know I won't have to meet new people.

Now that I'm more comfortable doing these things alone I'm going to start adding in "other people". For example I've always done yoga or tai chi alone at home, but now I've found places near me that give classes. I figure that way at least those people have 1 thing in common with me.

[hawker]

That is good you make yourself go to things anyways...I did that this weekend...it wasn't as bad as I thought Fitness classes are a great way to meet people who like the same things...I am taking a spin class tomorrow night...good job!!

[maybs]

Okay I need to vent about something. My W has apparently told a friend of ours that she is going to try to have a baby and that the biggest reason our M doesn't work is because I don't want kids. And I am completely dumbfounded.

When in the F*** did I say that I did not want kids.... she has known from the very beginning of us dating that that was something I wanted and I've always been interested in adopting or fostering. And I knew she wanted to carry a child. So we talked about her carrying a child but us also adopting/fostering down the line.

In the last 6 months we have discussed the possibility of her getting pregnant if the drs thought that it would be safe for her and the baby. We also looked indepth into adoption and fostering in our area. AND I EVEN OFFERED TO HAVE MY F****** EGGS HARVESTED for her to carry OUR child if she was concerned about her genetics.

When in all of that did I EVER say/imply that I did not want children.......

Sometimes it is so frustrating when someone is just blatantly disregarding the truth and basically flat out making things up!

I just want to scream. This is the one subject where her actions are still really really getting under my skin...because I just don't get it. So the past 6 months of us looking into how we can have children what was I just pretending???