Did Not See It - But Should Have

[RDS]

It’s been an up and down trip for me the last few days. Friday morning I was in great mood, and then I wasn’t. Without my knowledge I was slated to go to TN to help out in an emergency. I was highly pissed because I would have had to go on a Sunday and come back later this week. I didn’t really mind going, it was just the idea people above me made all the plans without consulting me. Turns out the emergency situation diffused itself. I’m still going to TN, but it will only be for a few hours to get orientation under my belt. Having the trip cancelled put me in a better mood.

During the day my W called me at work and we chatted for about 15 minutes. Again, a good, friendly talk.

When I got home I got an email from my L. The email contained my W’s counter claim for financial support. My L already told me a couple of weeks ago what was in the counterclaim. To actually see her demands in writing is gut wrenching. She is basically asking for the moon and back. A couple of weeks ago I called her on it and told her there is no way I could afford to give her everything she is requesting and still pay for everything. I don’t understand why I should have to pay for everything because I take high stress jobs and she takes a job that pays barely above minimum wage. I would love to have jobs like that, but I also live in the real world where bills have to get paid by me.

The dreaded “D” word was sprinkled throughout the document. I know it’s probably a normal legal procedure but it still hurts. My L is going to contact her L and see if my proposed financial support will work. If my W declines it then I know she isn’t serious about working things out fairly. If she tries to get everything she is asking for I will have to warn her my claws will come out to protect myself. I don’t know how much it will help me but if I don’t go that route then I know it will hurt me.

Friday night she sent me a friendly text filled with funny and happy emojis. I smiled and only replied “cute”.

Early afternoon Saturday she called me just as I finished doing yardwork. She was really excited about watching a movie on Netflix at her BFF’s house and she had to tell me about it. We talked for about 30 minutes about the movie and everything else under the sun. Of course there was no talk about us or our R. It really was like old times, but in the back of my mind I kept thinking of the counterclaim she sent. I don’t know if she knows I know about it.

I called her Saturday night after I saw the movie. It was a decent movie, but it was a very emotional movie based on a true story and my W really gets into movies like it. Her demeanor was a bit off then. She seemed cold and detached. I know I have to expect that but it’s still jarring. We only talked a few minutes before I told her goodbye. It wasn't a fun conversation.

Sunday I emailed her about some stuff I put on Craigslist. Her reply was only a “thanks” for both emails. Again, I know I can’t read into it, but I can’t help it.

And now today, I got some really sad news. My daughter has accepted a position in Dallas, TX and will be moving out within a week. I know this was coming because the entire time she was working towards her Masters she said she wanted to move to the Dallas area. My house is already lonely with her and her dog there, but now it’s going to feel like a tomb when she is gone. We’ve been a team the last couple of years. When we got back from her graduation in May and found out my W had left I made her promise me she wouldn’t stop her dreams because of me. I will keep a happy face for her and help her as much as possible but I can't help but feel my heart has been ripped out again.

These last few months have sucked.