First Buds

[mustardseed]

I think if we didn't have 50/50 parenting time it would be a lot easier. The kids have things they want to do. He sends them mixed messages. They cry to me. I tell them to talk to him. They tell me they did but they still don't know the answer. I contact him to see if i can get clarification. Next thing you know I am being attacked, accused of being the one trying to convince them that they want to do something or not do something. I can never win.

This unbalanced custody schedule is the worst part of it. It is 50/50 time but he gets the majority of the work week and I have them every weekend. He is unclear in all of his communication. The kids are wanting things to go as they always have but he won't give a straight answer. He seems to be on board with everything than at the last minute back peddles. There is no rhyme or reason. He wants to look like the good guy all the time, but not act like it. That's why he says things like, "I told the kids that I have to apologize to you for something things I've done, but I'm not going to do that right now."

So he gives the illusion that he is apologetic and humble and accountable, without actually doing it. S is starting to idolize him. The love bombing is working. I like seeing S so happy with his relationship with his father. He has been wanting this for so long. But I am scared about it. I am afraid he will flip the switch once the love bombing no longer serves his interest. I also know that with this idolization there are some little side comments criticizing me and my family. I have to trust that my actions and reality will help s navigate the contradictions. But I know S wants to be like the public image of H. Popular, powerful, admired. With the love bombing it becomes easy to forget the inconsistencies when you want the image to be the reality.

My life would be absolutely perfect right now if he wasn't using the kids this way.