I understand the nightmare all too well. Your last post sounds like me. Im angry and frustrated. I also have wonderful kids who are the only reason im still breathing. And the anxiety attacks! oh my good lord. I have been going through this for a long time and I am not feeling any better. Something is missing in me that I don't think will ever return.
Just know that you are not alone. I don't know how long the nightmare will last but I pray constantly for some sort of relief.
M:39 W:40 S:10 S:7 D:12 BD:3/5/15 Separate BR:3/5/15 W moved out with kids 1/3/16