tkdmme - I feel for you. The constant reminders of "other" people having happy fulfilling lives is difficult.
I haven't read through your sitch or know much about you but music seems to be something that gives you joy. I know that when others suggest it to me I resist but getting out and about can be good for you. There are lots of places that have music. My oldest brother for example plays at a senior's home every few weeks. He's not a great player and they're not a great audience but everyone has fun and he feels good because he's giving back to the world.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
