Have I been making mistakes too long part 9

[tkdmme]

Im doing ok SH. Thanks for asking. How are you?

I spent the weekend on a remote island golf resort with a couple of friends. It was a complete disaster. They are brothers and fought the whole time we were there. They stayed drunk and slept in every morning. I was up before dawn every morning thinking about my situation. Wondering if things would ever start to feel normal again. I saw happy families on the beach with their children and it literally hurt my soul. I used to have that and I failed. We used to take vacations to the beach as a family and had such a great time. I wish I could erase those memories.

It has been so long since I have felt love that im not sure I would even recognize it if it hit me in the face. I feel so alone, un-wanted and disrespected. As you know, I have no family in the area and the few friends I have are not good influences. I basically stay in the house most of the time when im not working. I would just like to know for sure that at some point im my life I will be happy again. I know that my W is not coming back and that's ok. I just want to be able to truly smile again.