LoneStar, T2 gave you some VERY good advice, and from reading your threads, I know you will follow it.
I, too, think it was a great baby step, but that you shouldn't get your hopes up. I am a prime example of that. Get a few baby steps, and I lose my patience and progress.
You won't do what I've done, you will do it well. Good luck.
Also, just to let you know, the "arousal" thing, I was there once. Had an XBF who touched me while I was still angry. He offered be there for me "physically" whenever I wanted it. Said "No strings attached, just that there are so many diseases out there." I didn't say anything to him but "thanks" but I was totally creeped out. After all, I was leaving him.
Just my thoughts, not saying your W felt the same. But, if I were you, I may rethink saying anything so intimate next time. At least until the third or fourth massage.
