Uncharted Waters

[2Times2Many]

M, I agree that being friends is a good thing. And I thought it was paying some tiny dividends, but it seems like things took some giant leaps backwards. One thing was that I knew he had friends here in town but he seemed to want to hide his activities with them from me or mislead me about spending time with them. Why? I have no clue.

The last time he was here, we had some very enjoyable times together. This time, not so much. I'm trying to give him some slack. His friends were here and he wanted to entertain them. Then there was the blow-up with BIL and his family and the changes at the office that all that caused. I'm not trying to make excuses for him, but none of that is conducive to enjoyable times, so I suppose I shouldn't be too discouraged given the circumstances.

One thing that's bothered me this time is that he's always talked about getting a D, but for quite some time he's spoken as though it was something that would happen sometime in the future. He didn't seem to be in a big hurry. Now he's back to pushing harder for one sooner and I'm going to assume it's because of OW2. He was the same way with OW1 and things calmed down re D after that fell apart. Now all of a sudden, a D on a faster timeline is important. I just hope she's pressuring him because that's why he dumped OW1.

Anyway, I'm going to use your line that I like hanging out with me because it's right on the money. I wonder if he's ever considered that I might think his lifestyle is a little strange (among a multitude of other adjectives)? No, of course not.

HaWho, I've been thinking a lot about his socializing comments. The way I see it is this. He thinks that being involved in all these non-stop social activities is living life in a big and fun manner and if I would just socialize the way he does, I'd be living life in a happy way like he is. The thing is, he lives his life that way but still talks about finding happiness.

I view that kind of activity as an escape and I know that I may have fun while participating, but when I get home or wake up the next morning, whatever problems I may have will still be there. Non-stop distractions won't fix those problems. It's just a method to avoid facing and solving them. There is a balance. But a teen-age or frat boy mind doesn't understand that sooner or later, you have to face your issues. You can't run from them forever.

But this visit wasn't a total bust. It gave me some things to think about and more avenues to grow.

HaWho, I think a wedding ring is sometimes seen as a challenge!