The lie continues...

[CT1118]

I can see by my "views" to my posts that more people read this than comment, which is fine. So, I hope my story is at least helpful to some, relatable to some, or worthy of the reads in some way.

So, WW just dropped off S4 at my apartment. I must admit, I was feeling the full weight of the drop off conversation and was trying to hold my mind together. I realized my mind was starting to spiral and I was backsliding - if nowhere else but in my own head. So, I had to say out loud to myself : I can't control her actions, I can only control mine, I am going to have fun when S4 gets here, I accept this situation and am willing to give her space and take my own. I grabbed my guitar and played to keep my mind off it all.

WW arrived w/ S4 and as I have come to do my immediate attention was towards S4. I listened to WW tell me about what her and S4 did the day before. She said a few things and I validated. She asked what S4 would be doing as I was not offering, so I shared my plans in brief. We spoke about a few joint money items. She asked what I had done the night before, so I told her again in brief, but politely. Then she said she had to go which I simply said ok, S4 and I are going to get going as well. WW said "bye" as she was walking out and, while I had not said her name in almost two weeks, it blurted out by impulse "bye [name]". So i messed that part up, but again, recognize and reorganize, move forward.

I feel good now that I am through it, will not see or speak much to WW during work week as I have not for the past two. The anxiety was not good today, but much better than in the past. And I feel like I held my lines well. So, quick update, and now the rain has stopped, so going out to enjoy my son.