My wife walked out 4

[RSG]

Thanks man. I'm trying my damned best.

I do think I'm more confident than I was at anytime this year, and I continue to work on myself. When I told her I'm doing fine I meant it. I can live as a single Dad, and be happy with my little boy. Funny you mention the A, the Scarlett Letter came to mind pretty quickly. Hawthorne was onto something there! I think we'd be disgusted by society if people had to show that.

The issue for me is/was def the lying. My changes seem to have caused WW to pause in her tracks and take stock of her decisions, and I know if I get distracted by that I lose in every way. One thing that did disgust me was WW essentially quit being a mother, but I'm noticing the normal Mommy I respected is coming back.

SH, no I haven't called a coach but I started seeing a counselor last week. My next appt is Tuesday and I look forward to it. My decisions aren't based on any sort of reactionary game, but I'm working on my anger. I'm better at listening to the voice inside me that says don't let it out, but I still find myself thinking ugly thoughts based on everything that has happened. I'm not an ogre. I sympathize with the health issues she has developed, but I know they only exist because of the choices she's made.

I appreciate the well wishes, it's just I get so frustrated when I feel like I'm getting pulled in different directions. I am pushing forward, but it's always a struggle. Whether it's my S asking where's Mommy, situations with him in which I'd love a 2nd person, having people say at work "Oh, you're married right?" and so on I know I'm still in pain. I'm working on me. I'm more polite, try to be more of a glass half full person (seemingly in every situation but this one lol), enjoy every moment possible with S, try to do things when I can, clean up the house more, etc etc.


As for the rest of today, not much happened. Great day w/S. He had a good visit to Target and a fun morning. He had a little iPad time today after nap, and then we went to the pool. We had fun playing, as we had it all to ourselves. When it was time to go, he listened well, ate well tonight and he put himself to sleep. I told W he had a great day, and she said thanks and appreciated the update. I gave her my word that I'd continue to update her nightly, and she said thank you. That's not to appease her. Yes, she's his Mommy and deserves to know what's going on. But it's for me as a man, to keep my word and stick to an agreement. I'm angry and disappointed at her for lying. If a man doesn't keep his word, what does he have??

Anyway, goodnight friends!