My wife walked out 4

[SH_]

RSG,

I apologize if my thoughts frustrated you.
Not my intent.
My intent is that I know and still live the challenge of detaching, and try to share advice and sound principles with others while implementing myself so we can be happy and do the best we can in a difficult situation.
This is key to progress whether we are able to R our MR or go through a D.

I perceived in what you are sharing that you were reacting to her and trying to decide your next actions based on how you think she may react.

Have you worked with a DB coach?
I did early on and advice that I was given to help me was to not make decision with my WAW's filter on.
This helped me in personal decisions, it helped me in decisions when under fire from her wrath during explosive reactions to many things.
He further clarified that detaching was not ignoring her, nor discounting her when making decisions. He used an example for offering to assist her with finances as she was struggling with theses when she decided to leave me and the family. He advised that I make the offer in a loving manner like I would with my sister. This way no expectations. If she accepted the help, the I could be kind and help her. If she did not accept it, I would not be hurt at being turned down and I could just leave it at that. If she blew up and told me to go to hell, then I would not take it any more personally than I would with my sister.
Decisions without her filter on is key to detaching and focusing on ourselves and fixing our own shortcomings.

I will back off from sharing more advice if it is not helpful, as that is my only goal. So many helped me during some dark times and continue to support me now. I choose to pay the same kindness forward. But only if it can benefit and help others as it did for me.
Be well RSG, the road is a long one, but there is beauty along the way to be cherished.