Only you can decide how long you will accept being bullied and intimidated by her threats and living with the status quo.
Surely you can inform your sister what is going on between you without speaking to her husband's involvement? Perhaps even suggesting that her unaccompanied visits are't appropriate for now?
Having said that, no one looking on from the outside can answer your question because none of us have to live the consequences.
I can sense your pain and your fear. The pressure cooker you are living in has no relief valve other than by you as your wife sees no reason to stop. She has no respect for you or your family, sister included.
I am not advocating divorce, but I am suggesting that continuing down the path you are on might be worse and eventually gain the same result. Step back, write down pros/cons, seek an independent, unbiased sounding board and then decide how you need to proceed to achieve what you want.
Wishing you well.
The only easy day was yesterday
Friends - 35 years Together -32 years Married - 29 years S - 26 BD - 11/11 S 7/12 Last visual contact 2/13 Last verbal contact 4/13
