Detachment and the end of limbo, sort of...

[Phoebe]

So, kind of a strange week overall. I feel like I've gotten almost nothing accomplished, and I can barely remember what I've done all week. Can I blame the toothaches and antibiotics? I don't think of penicillin as one that messes with the thought process, but...

Maybe it's just the toothache, combined with a big jump in legal complications this week. And a few more thousand dollars in legal fees.... Sigh.

My R-friend is upset with me because I lost some email and didn't respond to her about something she invited me to, L-friend invited me to go along with him on a a social function, I have accomplished exactly nothing further in terms of the legal financial crap, and I am scattered beyond belief. I can just about keep myself on track to make it through my daily chicken and cat chores. Almost. I inevitably stall out part-way through some part of the feeding/watering/cleaning process and forget what I was doing. I just have to stop and hope I can re-engage my thought process. It's frustrating.

I drove to meet L-friend for a bike ride today, and then I came back home to see what I could get done with my day. Answer: pretty much nothing. WTF is wrong with me this week???

L-friend and I talked about our expectations for our friendship/whatever-this-is a couple days ago, and that was a bit stressful. Neither one is ready for more than we have to offer each other right now, but I think that he was starting to feel like I was having larger expectations. I wasn't. I've been in such relationships in the past, but it's been over 25 years, so I'm out of practice with negotiating such situations.

It's a bit of a mess, but the friendship and physical contact are most welcome for both of us, so we're trying to muddle through in a way that keeps each of us safe and consistently talking about where we're at.

I think every relationship is a bit complex for me, so this is just complicated in a different way. R-friendship is complicated, too.

Anyway, as usual, I ma running very late and ought to get myself to bed. I'm yawning and should take advantage of that. Good night and sweet dreams (or dreamlessness, if that's better) to everyone.