Cherry, your H is confused and it sounds like he's doing major cake binging.
He prob knows that you can offer what itsy bitsy skank can't offer but itsy bitsy skank represents freedom from responsibilities. Your H needs to grow up and man up. But it's his journey.
Your journey is to continue being an awesomely sexy, sassy lighthouse.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Don't you just wish there was a way to make them see what crazy life's they are living right now. But again, I guess that's his journey, his problem, his circus, his monkeys.
Yeah freedom and bugging up his ego I guess.
I'm certainly trying to. I forced myself up and out of the house to get my eyebrows threaded today. Being particularly sick today so this was kinda the last thing I wanted to do
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Hey there Miss Cherry. I kind of got lost for a bit, but I'm back and checking in on you.
I am so glad to hear that you are holding the line when it comes to sex. It may be what he wants from you the most, but it is, quite frankly, what he least deserves. He can't pick and choose which parts of you and your marriage that he wants.
I hope that you start feeling better very soon, and that you continue to hold the line. You are a powerful woman and you deserve a whole marriage in which you are loves and cherished for everything that you bring to the table. Short of that - he can go "pleasure" himself. (didn't want to get censored!)
Sorry. I've been feeling bit feisty lately.
Hang in there, lovely lady.
((((((((((Cherry))))))))))
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
Detachment has always been something I've struggled with. Though I'd like to think I'm getting slightly better. I didn't give into his ways, as I often get the impression h is only physicality attracted to me. And I do deserve more than that, I'm a good person, I have morals and a big heart. But mami won't be taken for a fool, so after I told him no sex. I'm sticking to it.
But I'll read and re read until it sticks
Waiting for his crazy train to crash but I guess I can't force that
Hi Cherry
I know detachment is a big challenge. It is a big challenge foe most of us. I think one of the reasons that it is a challenge, is because it is misunderstood and or thought to simply be a place that is reached in our minds. I am researching and reading about it a lot to better understand what it is and how it can be implemented and applied for a strong healthy relationship. Relationships first with ourselves. Second with other people.
Anyway, my point that hopefully I can make for you here in short, is I am seeing it more as an action we LBS must practice constantly. Kind of like getting into shape and or being healthy after not being in shape and unhealthy. It is hard at first. It hurts at first. We struggle and are not sure if we are doing things right. The key is that we remain consistent and practice daily. Learn from error and mistakes and adjust.
Detachment is an action and a choice that takes effort and work and then we will become strong and healthy....emotionally and mentally.
The thread in cadets homework about detachment should be read daily and implemented until it makes sense.
You can do this. I look forward to seeing a post in the next day or two from you about one thing you learned from the detachment material and how you implemented it. Lets start there if you are up to it.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
I do deserve more than that, I'm a good person, I have morals and a big heart. But mami won't be taken for a fool, so after I told him no sex. I'm sticking to it.
But I'll read and re read until it sticks
Waiting for his crazy train to crash
Originally Posted By: SuperSara
Cake eating with a side of man baby.
Originally Posted By: JksD
He prob knows that you can offer what itsy bitsy skank can't offer but itsy bitsy skank represents freedom from responsibilities. Your H needs to grow up and man up. But it's his journey.
Your journey is to continue being an awesomely sexy, sassy lighthouse.
Originally Posted By: Phoebe
Sorry. I've been feeling bit feisty lately.
Hang in there, lovely lady.
((((((((((Cherry))))))))))
Look out folks!!! We have a thread here full of Feisty, Sassy, Lovely Ladies over here!!!
With the likes of the sweet Gals, Cherry, Phoebe, JksD and SuperSara, I don't know how well the WH club is gonna survive. There is gonna be some smackdown laid down around these parts for sure!
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
I'm honored to be included in the ranks of the WH Smackdown Club.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
Ooh yes! I'm loving the smack down club! Loving the feisty women here taking control of their life's.
Phoebe, you don't have to apologise for the feistiness. In my head I frequently tell him to go pleasure himself!
Sh, yes I'm willing to give that a go. Anything that gives me an opportunity to take control and survive this I'm willing to grab with both hands. And obviously I would love the opportunity to save my marriage. But my sanity needs to be saved first.
Time to start a new thread to I guess
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
