Painter, the man is long gone and you neither want nor need him anyway. Do whatever you need to get yourself through this, good DBing or not.

I'll be right here processing my way along with you because I'm at the same point. I just want it over with. I found out that my H has has some type of A with at least SEVEN women, at least two of which were before he walked away from me. And he cheated on the latest one, too, so plainly there is a lot of pathology there. You can't help but feel sorry for a person who is so screwed up, but it's his life to ruin.

((((((Painter))))))

H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16