Hi sandi2 - Nice to meet you. I've read quite a bit of your relies and have a lot of respect for your advice.
1) The most traumatic experience for my wife: her parents divorced when she went to college. It impacted the family dynamics and finances, and created difficulties with the parents in now being alone. She has told me many times, she's knows first hand the problems with D. However, within this period of time, she has stated: "she need to be true to herself" and can't live a marriage for the kids. Also, she's afraid of what a D would mean to everybody
2) Sandi (no offense taken) I am a flawed person. I have a great family life: wife, kids, comfort and I mange to screw it all up with my "so-called" anger issue...I now know what it really is. Part of my anger/range was fueled by shame. It was easier to be angry/rage on my wife than to admit how shameful I was in how I treated her. All of it roots from ego, selfishness, arrogance, pride...just negative emotions
3) I accept full responsibility and absolutely know these were CHOICES i made. My wife is incredibly understanding, if I just tapered it 50%, maybe I wouldn't be in this situation. However, what matters most is that I need to ACTUALLY CHANGE and not be happy with 50% 20% 1%...this is not how you form healthy relationships.
