Ok here is what I have so far. I need some input on how to soften this, since she is right on the edge. If you want to change in your life in a positive direction, you need make positive changes in yourself first. Making changes in how you think and handle situations can be uncomfortable, but are needed to make progress. Being comfortable means doing the same things and thinking the same way that you are used to. But doing what you are used to hasn't worked so far has it?...So do things differently! This goes for our relationship too. If we want a better relationship we need to do things differently than we did before. That starts with our individual progress, but also includes how we approach the relationship. I have realized that my expectations were more about the relationship that I want and not the one we are in. So I had to adjust my thinking over the past few days. When I mentioned being open to let you look at accounts and my phone to gain trust, you said you didn't want a relationship like that. I agree with you, but that is if we were in our goal relationship. We need to recognise that we still need work and need to make changes to get to that healthy goal relationship. Some changes will be temporary and some will need to be ongoing to maintain it. But we can't expect it to work by doing everything the same. Both of us have to make adjustments. The best way to make sure it doesn't go back to the way it was is making a plan and keep checking back with our plan to make sure we're on track. Maybe even going to marriage counseling as long as the counseler is good and we make our goals clear. The main thing is we would need to go into this with an open mind.
