Welcome back, DDJ. Ive been trying to bite my tongue as much as I can, but for some reason I find myself compelled to write.
It is sad to me to see how much you let your emotions guide you in this. You say it was something that you did without emotions, but there are several signs to me that suggest that is not true. 1) This went through INCREDIBLY quickly. I believe if this was a decision you came to from a detached, calm and collected place, then this would have been a long, planned process. XW cant ven leave for 5 months? So what was the purpose of such a fast D? From BD to divorced was what, 4 months? How will you be able to look at your son in the future and tell him you did everything you could? 2) Even your signature says "STILL DENIES CHEATING". In all caps. Youre divorced now....so who cares what she will or wont admit to? 3) You also mention you feel nothing. To me, that doesnt sound like detachment...that sounds like you are in shock. And understandably so. This whole thing proceeded like a whirlwind.
I get that you are feeling happy right now. I can understand that feeling of knowing what you want out of life and taking it. I am happy to hear about the positive changes you made in your lifestyle. That said, I do believe that you will look back at this and wish things went differently. I believe that your W was not "super wayward". I believe that this union could have been resurrected, but instead of standing tall for your commitment, you tucked your tail and took the easy way out.
I do wish you the best and I really do hope that Im wrong. Like most things, only time will tell.
