Detaching.....nearly there..

[Surfer]

Any thoughts on how to answer this question. My WW feels that she has said everything (to point toward her unhappiness over a period of years) and I ignored it. I gather this is pretty typical.

The question is "Why did you just leave me there....not address things before?"

When she asks, I just clam up. I don't have a single good answer. I have explained that was she was mainly shouting or completely distressed when she tried to talk and I couldn't hear her....as I would be in panic mode. I have learned to hear her in any state (distressed, shouting etc), so now I am better equipped but I can't seem to answer her question in a way that stops it coming back. She tends to keep going over the same things, this is one of many, why do you always, you never etc points. It is distressing. I appreciate that I am still struggling with detaching...but should I even try to answer such a question?

I would appreciate any thoughts/help.