I'm typing off the cuff here, so I don't know how well this will stand up to scrutiny--and I certainly haven't been precise in my use of these terms in the past--but I think engagement is about action and detachment is about emotion.
Chatting with my husband about our day is an act of engagement. Not getting sad or stressed about not knowing if he is feeling emotionally connected to me is detachment.
Of course there are actions we take to help us detach--we meditate, pray, distract ourselves by GAL, etc.
It is tricky, absolutely. And different situations have different optimal levels of engagement. A spouse who has asked for space is different from a spouse who feels disconnected due to years of neglect.
I'd love to hear other people's thoughts.
Hmmm.... rose you share some good insight that I have had in my notes as I research detachment. It aligns with some of it, but with a few additional elements that I will analyze and put through a litmus test. Thank you for sharing as this is a topic of great need for better understanding for so many of us.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
