Hey Rose, the honeymoon quote was the selfishness, i never saw her as my wife, in fact, i could never endear myself to her, I think you or Ginger brought that up. But i never quite answered it.
I didn't like my wife, i still don't. But i got so attached to her that I could not let her go. Sex became the drug that kept me hooked to her. Once i stopped having sex with her, i could see what my real feelings were. That's where "change your actions and your feelings will change" comes in.
That's why i advocate that the LBS try something different, this hanging on to M causes anxiety. If you do the opposite, which is a 180, then you can normalise, find yourself. If she likes the new you, then you win. M SAVED.
As for being honest, if what I say came from a place of REAL love, then on the honeymoon, i would have said "no matter how big you get, I will love you and respect you with the love that I have for myself". But here's the thing, if she respected herself, she (and I) would understand that her body is a temple, and getting fat is not an accident, its not circumstance (unless medical), but we make a choice to get big, eat unhealthily and drink calories in liquor. I never had respect for her, for myself and visa-versa.
The M had to end.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
