Awkward situation

[Coly23]

Sorry, I've not read to the bottom of your thread as yet so someone might have already mentioned this but it looks to me like you are taking on all the responsibility for outing the EA. Surely it is down to your BIL to come clean to his own wife? You can address the issue of you knowing with your Sister later but at the moment he seems to be going along in his own little world whilst your family is falling apart! Your sister may not understand at first why you didn't tell her but her husband needs to be the one who owns up to it as he has messed up and not you. I agree that in this situation neither option is a good one however I would rather not have the burden of carrying around such a huge family secret for someone else!