wife of 14 years walks out on her family

[CT1118]

Raul, I am so sorry you are in this position. So many of us are in something similar.

You asked: "'I'm being lured to a trap? Or am I reading too much into this and it is no big deal going with your WW school shopping. How do I respond? Do I respond? Or do I respond?"

I don't know your WW, nor am I an expert, but this is no trap and if it is, you set it yourself. Your WW does not know what she wants. While it is possible there are W out there who dislike their M's so much they would hurt the LBS financially or physically on purpose, it most likely she is just confused and lost in herself right now. She may want you, she may want an AP, or she may want to be alone...all this may flip in the course an hour. Don't try to make sense of it, She has no grand plan. You be the one with the plans, the goals, the strategies. At this point every interaction you have could be a big deal...for you. You said above that she had a lot of control in the M. Here is an opportunity for you, you get to choose dude, she asked you.

From the above, you spoke about going to her place uninvited and and calling her a whole bunch of times - that all led to her asking for NC. I think if you want to go, go and if you don't, don't. But I also think you have to wonder if you or WW are ready for something like this...and in an environment of busy stores, screaming kids, discussions on who pays for what? That's where your going to take your first step towards contact again?
If you feel you MUST see her, why not start with her picking up the kids from you, she takes them shopping, you go do some GAL, and then you see WW when she drops them off. Short, polite, and give her a reason to wonder what you got going on, like you are dressed in new clothes, you are listening to some music, got an new haircut, or you are in running sjoes because you just got home from working out. Either way, look like you were doing something.