Third time's a charm, I hope.

[bodhi]

That is definitely the thing I fear, that I am the back up plan. Plan B. I'm trying to come to terms with if I'm comfortable with that being the case. On one hand, our relationship was pretty toxic and he is right that being separated is the best thing for us. It's the way he words it that brings out my anxiety.

I also do see his validity though. He is naive. He has never dated anyone aside from me. He has only slept with one other woman, one time. He also doesn't receive a lot of female attention.

I on the other hand have experience under my belt. I had a couple of boyfriends before him, none long term but I've also slept with people other than him. No way to humbly say this, but I've always received a lot of male attention, even during our marriage. I know that I could have most anyone that I wanted, and despite that chose him. To be frank, logistically I have many, many better options than my husband. But he is the one who has my heart, and I'm confident in my love for him.

I'm not defending him necessarily because I feel like despite my flaws I have been a fantastic wife and I AM ENOUGH. I'm only trying to see it from his point of view. Maybe I am giving him too much credit, though. I'm not sure.

Part of me wants to tell him that it is over, that I do not want a separation, that being plan B is not enough of a reason for me to wait for him. I will say that I am not worried about dignity or pride. At the end of the day I am plan B and he decides he does want a divorce, I will not let that make me feel foolish.

At the end of the day, it's my decision and only I can make it, but I'm curious to see an outside perspective. In my shoes, would you personally wait or walk?