Keeps getting worse, 180 not working

[Cherry]

I agree with cadet and job.
I also feel for you, because I know that feeling oh so well when "we need to talk" comes up.

The d isn't what you want, by validating you aren't agreeing. It's just a "I'm sorry you feel that way" and you can state quite firmly that it isn't what you want, and therefore will not do any of the heavy lifting to get it. Try your best to keep calm and stay strong. We are all here for you.

Just listen, listen and listen some more, and validate.
And an absolute no no, YOU don't leave the house or the mbr. If this is what he wants, he needs to do the work, he needs to go. Why should you be the one to leave when it's not what you want.

Big hugs.