Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 2)

[ForGump]

I was doing everything with an eye on W to see if any of it was working...

This is the paradox I wrestle with constantly. Even coming on to this website ... feels like it puts me into a "how can I fix it?" frame of mind. If we're to have any chance -- and there is very little chance -- we have to completely let our W's go. But how can you honestly let something go knowing that your motivation for letting go is to keep it?