Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 2)

[ForGump]

"I love him, just not the way a wife is supposed to love her husband".

My W said essentially the same thing. I strongly question this concept though. How *are* long term couples supposed to love each other? Are you supposed to feel the giddy infatuation after years of negotiating parenting, house chores, finances, etc.? No, I think a healthy partner feels a deeper sense of attraction based on a loving, trusting relationship. So I think your W might be misguided in looking for excitement in your relationship. She is obviously attracted to you enough to have meaningless sex once a week. She needs to build on that, rather than look elsewhere for exciting romance.

I'm not saying this because it changes what you ought to do. But I don't think she ought to get a free pass on this issue. And you ought not beat yourself up 100% over this. I'm sure there are things you could've done many years ago to be a more romantic partner, but she bears some responsibility for her view of marriage. If she keeps this view, then odds are, her next marriage (should there be one) will likely wind up at the same place.