Are you trying to talk yourself into giving up or seeking sympathy for your lousy situation? You have listed loads of negative stuff about W and her family. I agree it does seem lousy for you.

However if you focus exclusively on the negatives you will see more and more negatives and eventually that is all you see/feel. You should change your focus.

What way have you contributed to the downfall of your M.? By your actions/in actions YOU contributed to getting to where you are. Own that responsability and change YOUR part.

Complaining about something does nothing to fix it. It changes nothing. Without going down the separation/divorce route, what can YOUcchange about your situation?

I would recommend changing how you feel about the situation is a good place to start.

If you find these comments hard, I did so on purpose to help you. Best wishes

R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together