It is good, thats one of the things about this forum. It talks about detachment and giving your toxic partner to your higher power. There is only one higher power.
Yet, the entire DB theory is somehow based on the premise that you have control over the things in your life. If you gym, learn to self-validate and 180 then your WW will start becoming romantically attracted to you again.
I believe that this whole thing has happened (to me at least) as the Higher Power is showing you something - your WW is fickle, and you're fickle for trying to hang on to someone that the Higher Power is taking away from you - why is He doing it - well, ask Him and you might just attain the POWER OF NOW! I have.
Is this really your understanding of the DB theory? I couldn't disagree more with your summary.
DB says that the only thing or person you have control of is yourself. When your marriage is in trouble, you identify the "cheeseless tunnels"--those interaction patterns that you and your spouse repeat again and again that result in conflict or distance or whatever the trouble is. Then, you identify different responses (the 180s). You try those and see if that keeps you from ending up in the cheeseless tunnel. If it does, you keep that are your new normal response. If you still end up in the tunnel, you try a different response and see if that gets better results.
GAL activities are to help you learn to find fulfillment from other sources and to keep you from chasing after a spouse who wants distance.
There is no guarantee this will cause your spouse to be attracted to you again. Because you can't control your spouse.
I think it's important that we represent DB accurately.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
