Hey Coco, here's the thing, my journey is very strange, I feel no pain. No hurt. I really don't. It's like this whole episode never happened.
My soul has healed me, taken it all away. The last time i actually cried was Friday last week, but not for my M, but asking God forgiveness for disrespecting the sanctity of M and being forced to D.
I still have no proof that she cheated when shyt hit the fan in May. I really don't. Last nite, I could not sleep, I was so happy, like i was going on an overseas trip. This morning i was overjoyed.
There's a book called The Power of Now, what the author describes in the first few pages is what happened and is happening to me. I opened myself to the pain of this and then it disappeared, slowly, but it is now gone.
The aim, thx to darkness, sandi and dream, was to always detach. I believe D was the final piece of the puzzle. I am now at about 98% detachment. Can't really control my "member". Other thing is that in South Africa, you cannot legally separate and she was going nowhere, so I was forced to D to get her out of the house - which is still gonna take another 5 Months!! But it's part of the journey.
As for the best outcome, well that's debatable. I have found myself and become the best person i could ever be. I have the self-confidence of The Hulk! So DB does work, but you need a guardian angel to carry you through.
Would i do anything different and save my M... well that was never my choice, was it?
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
