I love your post betterm - yes, life is much more than a cheating, lying, no good STBXWW.
yeah, you came in at a weird time for me, I was couped up all weekend with a leg injury, bored, stir-crazy, and lured myself into confusion as to how I was wanted to move forward with the D process: push it to completion, or make her do the work? in the end, it doesn't matter, "this marriage" has already come to an end, it's just a formality at this point. I don't want to have a WW unwilling to finalize the D because she's still so conflicted on it, and try to draw out the process for as long as possible while she runs around with no control.
Originally Posted By: DDJ
You have so much to be thankful for, but be most thankful that she's not in your life anymore.
During my deep discovery of the R and the problems I was responsibile for, so many things kept coming up that I had no idea were even problems at the time... I was looking for MY faults, but more often than not, kept stumbling across her actions of rejection, judgement, manipulation, subtle attacks of who I am as a person... I don't hold this against my W, as I'm fairly certain she isn't aware of what she is doing, it's ECD problems and it's just "normal" for her and her family... It's a shame, but to rid of those negative energies in my life, would be a blessing.
Originally Posted By: DDJ
And feel the pain, alot of people here take meds to help numb them. Walk as slowly through the pain as you can/have to. You were given a heart to feel, a mind to deal, and a soul to heal! Use all 3!
I love what you say here. I'm a fast-paced, "doer" and my IC has really helped me to calm myself. between her, and regular meditation, I'm learning how to process emotion, which wasn't in my toolkit prior to this event. I'm learning it's "okay" to slow down and that I don't always have to be checking things off a list in order to feel accomplishment and contentment.
My psych on the other hand (the one I see for my ADHD and previous mental checks), heard me say divorce and immediately offerend me anxiety and depression meds. I told her that I appreciate it but I'm going to first try to continue dealing with my feelings the most natural way possible. She expressed concern that someone with my history could have a lapse and end up in a very bad place, which i replied that I would agree to call her e-line if I had any thoughts of things she might need to hear about.
Originally Posted By: DDJ
The cliche that things happen for a reason is ridiculous - but you know what - things happen. It's what you do next that defines you, your integrity, your morals and your values. BE YOU, BE BETTER(M)
Right back at ya, DDJ. I hope to find the path for me like you seem to have found for yourself.
