@betterm, thank you. I could not fall asleep last nite and cried in the car on the way to work this morning. But not from sadness, from joy. It does not make sense, i know, but i have no hurt or pain, although i feel others' hurt and pain.
Also, why do we have to survive the big D - WHY CAN'T WE THRIVE!!!
So let me shed more light on what i've been up to...
I used the DB way to save myself, Sandi's rule's really do work. I knew that if my XWW wanted back in, that it was too late. Boundaries had been crossed and she didnt care about me anymore.
Talking about Sandi, she'd always say that she never understood why WW's always want to be up in our biz, text late at night, never want to leave us to live our own lives - well i figured it out.
RESPECT. They have none. None for the sanctity of M, none for their children, their homes, their health, their pets, their everything. They are so consumed by their own selfish desires (now someone else) that nothing matters, not relationships with best friends, with employers, with good hygiene. LOL
So what must we do - cling on to someone like that - shyt, life is too short. So i made the commitment to myself that I would divorce her, no matter how i felt, no matter how it hurt, no matter how many times i would cry about it. I WOULD D HER!
And, as i walked towards the D date literally 4 weeks from completion of filing, my entire Being started to change. I slept like a baby on codeine, i cried less and less (many days going by), I had a ferocious appetite, never can get full.
I made peace with God for getting married for the wrong reasons, I had idolized my WW. We all can recall an incident in the last year or so where we looked at them and said "it's just how she normally is". But deep down in our soul we knew things were wrong. But it was not wrong with them, it was wrong with us...
We were lost, in a fog of pure bliss. A mirage in desert. (gonna end here for now)
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
