Did Not See It - But Should Have

[RDS]

RDS,

Keep being nice, being helpful, supportive, encouraging, appreciative, etc etc etc. Just like you would if you were courting a friendship with someone you just met.

I'm confused. I like this advice but does it not conflict with the 180?? Do you do this only when WH is acting appropriately and 180 when he's being an a$$?

Buxom,

I think every sitch is different. During the last few years of my M I was cold and indifferent to my W. My constant negativity towards her was the reason she left me. Her leaving me was my "rock bottom". My DB coach suggested I start being her friend first, which in a sense, is a 180 for me. I've tried to be her friend as much as possible. I've had very limited contact with her but when I do I'm friendly and non threatening. I hurt her badly with emotional coldness and now I have to earn her trust. Best way to do that in my sitch is be her friend and not her H.