Hey DDJ, thanks for stopping by after a long hiatus. You might've caught me at a bad moment in time, but I just want to clarify, I'm not living in depression, I'm not holding onto anything. I think the sadness I was feeling at the time of writing, and over the weekend, was that just the end of something that never really was meant to be... I still love her, but I understand now that my story, and her story, just don't make sense when read side-by-side...
I feel like I'm doing better in life, I'm happier now that when I was before this all started. Back then, I was just blind as to how bad things had really gotten, and how much precious time and energy was being thrown into something that was not providing anything positive as a result. Hence my stance on "if she came home tomorrow and said lets rethink/start things over..." I don't see myself being happy about my new opportunity... the reason I originally came here for, is not the same reason I'm sticking around.
It's ironic to be so grateful for such a tragic event in life... I wish things would've been different, gone differently, but realize that this is the right thing. I'm human, I'll get sad here and there. I'll take a step back for my two steps forward now and again... But primarily, I know I'm on the right path... my path, the one that got lost years back when W grabbed a hold of me like she did. I don't want to overwhelm myself and I want to take time to "feel" what's going on, so I'm not ashamed or considering my emotions as a bad thing... This process is fun, and it's hell, and it's everything in between. I'm looking forward to re-defining the 'betterm' that I set out to be a long time ago and squash the 'lost causes' that threw me off track...
Thanks again for swinging by, hope to hear more from you.
