I am still deeply wounded and understand that like someone protects a sensitive spot, I am protecting myself so I don't get hurt further. And that my need to protect myself is far overpowering my desire to share with others. And I am wrestling with my own entitlements, my own humanity. I don't have any hard conclusions, I just know that reacting to pain with anger and blaming isn't the path I want to follow. I need to work through my emotions, the destructive behavior that I contribute, and consider what I want my footprint to look like when it is all said and done. Perhaps an alligator footprint...
Zues, I'm so happy your parents are stepping up for you. My parents have never once asked me how I am or if I need anything.
Very early on in this process I made a decision that I was not going to end up an angry bitter woman, and that has influenced so many of my choices. Here I am two years later, not settled exactly, but happy with the choices I've made, happy with how my life is turning out. I applaud your decision to reevaluate where you might be blaming and holding grudges, where you might be putting up defenses that are keeping you from something better. You've come such a long way on this journey, Zues, take a moment to be proud of yourself for that. And there could be worse things than an alligator footprint...
