Detaching.....nearly there..

[Surfer]

OK. I feel detached again today, which is good. Spoke to WW about seeing the kids for an extra day this week as they are away for 10 days soon which will be hard. She is all on board but when I called her about it, it was all 'bile', 'spew' etc mostly about how nobody cares about how she feels etc. I validated etc but the phone went down twice so I have left her to calm down. I then got a text saying 'tell me what you want (re:kids) no point in talking any more'.

Any ideas? I am trying to get her to talk to me, focusing on listening etc. I think she is in a guilt/anger/resentment cycle, following a good convo. last night. Why - its seems to be because she is having to work during the summer holidays and the kids are guilt tripping her. I get blamed for this because it is my fault she 'had to take this job' (no my pay was very much sufficient for her not to work). It is also my fault that she chose to leave our house and 'go live in a pokey 2 bedroom house'. Obviously this is not true either - but I validate - she is reinventing history and forgetting that she 'chose' these things.

Any thoughts on how to handle this would be good. I am very calm and happy but I struggle with this 'drama'.