Episode 3 - The Divorce Awakens

[qt4x11]

The end of the weekend, I’m laying in bed right now between my son and daughter. Son is asleep and daughter is watching goofy youtube videos on my phone. As always they are the best thing in my life and I love them more than myself. They make me laugh and they make me feel loved and needed. Tomorrow I have to bring them back to their mom and I will be going back to the office for the first time in weeks. I’m anxious about all of the stuff coming up next week that I have to deal with. In addition to going back to work, I have a meeting with my lawyer on Tuesday. Dealing with any legal stuff related to the divorce is like pulling teeth for me, especially after not dealing with anything during my recovery from surgery.

Well I had more fun at the UFC fights than I thought I would - I’d even say that it was awesome and would definitely go back. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact we had really great seats. We were right up there in front of the octagon. Also it helps to go with someone like my friend who knows all the nuances of wrestling moves and martial arts, since he practices MMA himself and is a wrestling coach. My friend J and I also planned to go to a ‘foodie restaurant meet up group’ soon, as a way to check out some new restaurants and bars in the city. We also have tickets to see Lollapalooza this week with a big group of friends and family.

Today my cousin had a big get together at his house, my brothers, my cousin, their wives and kids were there. We grilled out and I had a lot to eat. Felt really weird for me being there as this was a family type gathering that I used to attend with my family and wife, and of course now I’m there as a soon to be divorced guy. People were asking me how I was feeling as they heard about my recent surgery too. I had a conversation with my cousin that got me wound up - he asked me how was my dog. I answered - well my wife gave my dog away as part of her campaign to rapidly dismantle everything in our life. I also had a conversation with my brother’s wife - she has always been good to me and was the person that my wife called to ask her to tell me to set up marriage counseling. She told me she does not understand why my wife would say that and then change her mind, but she is there to talk to me if I want. I ate a ton of bbq then fell asleep on my cousins couch for the majority of the afternoon while the kids swam in his pool.

I think my family knows I’m going through hell and they care about me. I’m further down the road of accepting the reality of my situation. Practically everyone who knows my situation and my wife does not have a lot of hope for us reconciling. It is very depressing, but it is healthy for me to face up to the reality of the situation. I think at this point it would be a miracle if my wife decided to cancel the divorce. And I could be calm cool poised non confrontational - and do everything right to help my case - it may not make any difference.

This morning I sent my wife a text message about the crazy messages I was sending her towards the end of my recovery period

Me; I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting lately, I’ve been on pain meds, not sleeping, and I think cabin fever. I think now that I’m out and about I should be better.

No response from my wife, as usual. It wouldn’t surprise me if she just ignores my messages at this point, or just laughs at them as if I’m a fool or something. Honestly I feel this lack of communication on her part is pretty cold, I would never have thought she’d be this way, but then I would have never thought I’d be getting a divorce.