Weekend coming to an end... Didn't get much done that required moving around, so I took the time to read, write, do some organizing - both around the house and life structuring. Went and visited my grandma yesterday, which was very sad... for both of us, for variety of reasons... she doesn't know my W and I are going through D right now.
I took some time to re-evaluate some goals, did a lot of recreational reading, and some personal growth reading... Did some re-organization of the house, as well as personal task re-organization. I re-did a personal budget since I've assumed most all the debt between me and W, and mapped out a plan to become debt-free (mortgage excluded), while leaving some room for "me-time" - a vacation late this year, as well, as budgeting a trip to Russia in 2018. These were all good things for myself, and I did a lot of writing along with the goals, because I feel that a lot has changed in the last few weeks that I needed to reflect upon.
My W stopped by and wanted to make a point that she's going to start journaling (weird conversation, seemed she just wanted to show/tell me that she's doing things for herself and her search for herself, and understanding of this situation as well)... She still talks about how she doesn't see how this D will be final anytime soon (in which I replied I don't know why not).
I told myself in the beginning I would make her do "all the hard work", but went against that today. I created a spreadsheet that listed the majority of our "things", with groupings and ideas on who should get what, etc... I didn't send or share it with my W, and I'm still not sure if I want to... But I'm getting the feeling that she feels like she's in full control of this D process and if it is uncertainty she is feeling, I will not allow her to let this drag out and think I'm just along for the ride, just because she's unsure of what she wants.
It'll be interesting tomorrow. She told me she was going to "fire" her L and retract all the disclosures and interrogatories he's been sending me for no good reason. She asked him to retract/withdraw them, and he told her he follows a strict process and doesn't plan on withdrawing them. I don't really trust her right now, so I went ahead and completed mine (within the 30 day requirement), and sent them in last week to my L... due to all the crap they sent me, my L sent my W a bunch of stuff too, which is due back tomorrow. I have a strong feeling she didn't do any of it, and if I don't hear from her I'll probably ask what he plan is with the L situation tomorrow evening...
