Jelly, you are a beautiful, amazing person with a kind heart, wicked smarts, and so very much to offer any relationship. Please extend yourself the same sort of compassion and kindness you so generously bestow on everyone else.
Dating again is hard. It takes time and a compassionate partner to overwrite those negative scripts we internalized from past relationships. You aren't making mountains out of molehills...you are doing the very brave and difficult work of healing. It's scary to be open and vulnerable with someone new, because we never know if they are strong enough to stand with us or if they will leave. But if they leave because of your broken parts, they were never the person you needed to begin with.
We are all a mix of light and dark and brokenness and beauty. You have to give your new partner the chance to love you completely--not just the pretty parts. Because what is even scarier than the possibility of being hurt again is allowing fear to prevent us from experiencing love or emotional intimacy again at all. The worst has already happened--that's why all of us are here on this board. But we survived, and if worst came to worst, we'd survive again. Don't let the worst days of your life keep you from what might be the best.
