The lie continues...

[CT1118]

CT1118,

The moment you can take or leave your WW, without a sense of huge loss, is a wonderful moment.

Just realize that this process is not anywhere near linear. You will cycle back. Be prepared for it.

Feelings are comfortable or uncomfortable. Not good or bad. Understand that your response is your responsibility. The action she takes is not your responsibility. Her spew, her bad actions, her begging you to be co-dependent, her future mistakes, her blaming you for 100% of her problems... all of it her hers. You just control your response.

Anger is a secondary emotion - hurt is first. Anger is normal to have - expressing it is how so many of us go wrong, and how so many get themselves in trouble and in jail.

You will get angry again about the affair. Count on it. You will get mad about OM - there will be triggers that make these feelings flow up into you like Old Faithful. Just let them come and go, and understand them for what they are. Stick to your beliefs. Those don't change. Emotions change by the minute. And those that go chasing after emotions (most, if not all WW's) are bound to find themselves down cheeseless tunnels.

Have faith! Get sleep. Eat well. And live for another day. The fight isn't over, but you caring about what someone does is.

Thank you. I just logged back in and this helped me very much. I was not thinking of her as much as I was mad at myself for feeling like a chump. I know it's not true. It's not being a chump to love someone and want to put in a fight for it. I had never thought of it the way you put it, she did beg me to be co-dependent. I never thought of it that way. My anger at the OM comes and goes, I know WW is lying to him too. WW kicked all of her family off her FB so the could not see what she does, so she lies to them as well. Addiction.
WW starts her new job 1st week of Aug. I am trying to hang in there and see how that affects her A. Some here think new job will help my cause, some don't. Trying to hang in there before I pull one of the last resort measures and play the "I'm through with you" card. It really won't be a play at that point, more like a statement of fact.